thefatjewish

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish

Contact 4 credit: Emailio.Addresstevez@gmail You can't get an STD if you never get tested.
thefatjewish (thefatjewish) Instagram Photos and Videos

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish


Comment from thefatjewish:


How is this the inside of an instrument and not an apartment in Sweden owned by a futuristic horny billionaire with white blonde hair named Bjorn?

1 Days ago
thefatjewish (thefatjewish) Instagram Photos and Videos

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish


Comment from thefatjewish:


@Malibu_rum brought me to South Africa to run on a beach in slow motion, because hot girls and dudes with sick bodies is sooooo out. YEAH @ZACEFRON I'M TALKING TO YOU AND YOUR WEIRD 12-PACK OF ABS. epicslowmo becausesummer Snapcode: malbu.us/snap

3 Days ago
thefatjewish (thefatjewish) Instagram Photos and Videos

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish


Comment from thefatjewish:


I would run my tongue over Steve Buscemi's teeth for a frittata right now.

4 Days ago
thefatjewish (thefatjewish) Instagram Photos and Videos

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish


Comment from thefatjewish:


This video of Katy Perry is whiter than Mike Pence snowboarding into a TED talk that's happening inside a Coldplay concert that's happening inside a farmers market while drinking a saffron flavored craft beer and being offended about something while wearing cargo shorts that were autographed by Jon Stewart at a live Daily Show taping and the pockets are filled with locally sourced conflict-free burrata ( @versace_tamagotchi)

7 Days ago
thefatjewish (thefatjewish) Instagram Photos and Videos

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish


Comment from thefatjewish:


Either that or be a tiny bead of sweat running down Sofia Vergara's butt crack and into her majestic fart box during a Bikram yoga class.

9 Days ago
thefatjewish (thefatjewish) Instagram Photos and Videos

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish


Comment from thefatjewish:


Mural of me in Australia by talented hunk @lushsux. Even at that size my dick is smaller than Scottie Pippen's. He supposedly has the biggest flesh burrito of all time. @webroughtwine

10 Days ago
thefatjewish (thefatjewish) Instagram Photos and Videos

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish


Comment from thefatjewish:


@delta please explain this and also the guy sitting next to me right now is watching Austin Powers: Goldmember and LAUGHING OUT LOUD and that should definitely not be allowed on a plane because first of all he's in public and secondly that movie is about as funny as a fire at an orphanage

10 Days ago
thefatjewish (thefatjewish) Instagram Photos and Videos

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish


Comment from thefatjewish:


Another weird thing adults do: HAVE FUCKING CHILDREN ON PURPOSE ( @marissamiller__ )

11 Days ago
thefatjewish (thefatjewish) Instagram Photos and Videos

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish


Comment from thefatjewish:


ROSÉ SEASON IS UPON US. Go to www.swishbev.com and buy that pink in either a bottle or a can (yes, it comes with the long straw) and embrace your inner basic bitch. Everything is 20% off SO DO IT NOW, DON’T BLOW THIS PLZ.

12 Days ago
thefatjewish (thefatjewish) Instagram Photos and Videos

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish


Comment from thefatjewish:


No, that fedora will not make you look like Don Draper. It will make you look like a colossal douche canoe.

12 Days ago
thefatjewish (thefatjewish) Instagram Photos and Videos

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish


Comment from thefatjewish:


It's like really really really shitty "Ocean's 11"

12 Days ago
thefatjewish (thefatjewish) Instagram Photos and Videos

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish


Comment from thefatjewish:


Why do @JoeJonas and @DNCE have a new song called "Kissing Strangers"? Is it possibly because on my radio show he and @DillonFrancis, who were strangers, played spin the bottle and ended up touching tongue tips? NOT NO.

13 Days ago
thefatjewish (thefatjewish) Instagram Photos and Videos

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish


Comment from thefatjewish:


*GOLF CLAP* WELL PLAYED SIR!

14 Days ago
thefatjewish (thefatjewish) Instagram Photos and Videos

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish


Comment from thefatjewish:


Also, stop posting photos of your mom looking hot and fertile back in the day! It's fucking creepy!

15 Days ago
thefatjewish (thefatjewish) Instagram Photos and Videos

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish


Comment from thefatjewish:


SHOUTOUT TO TARA GRODT FOR MY FIRST HANDJOB, IT WAS DRY AND LEFT MY PENIS RED AND GLOWING LIKE E.T.'s FINGER BUT YOUR HEART WAS REALLY IN IT GIRL

16 Days ago
thefatjewish (thefatjewish) Instagram Photos and Videos

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish


Comment from thefatjewish:


Happy Cinco De Mayo to anyone who voted for Donald Trump but is wearing a sombrero and a fake mustache today and chugging tequila you are literally fucking MENTAL

24 Days ago
thefatjewish (thefatjewish) Instagram Photos and Videos

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish


Comment from thefatjewish:


Nobody is probably gayer than a guy who hates gay stuff.

25 Days ago
thefatjewish (thefatjewish) Instagram Photos and Videos

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish


Comment from thefatjewish:


Speaking of sandwiches, I bet Liam Neeson has a footlong made of flesh in his pants.

26 Days ago
thefatjewish (thefatjewish) Instagram Photos and Videos

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish


Comment from thefatjewish:


Here's a hint: they regularly buy things at a hand-churned butter shop in Williamsburg. Wait, that doesn't fucking help.

29 Days ago
thefatjewish (thefatjewish) Instagram Photos and Videos

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish


Comment from thefatjewish:


The only place I ever lived in that's smaller than my current Manhattan apartment was inside my dad's balls. ( @black_humorist)

29 Days ago
thefatjewish (thefatjewish) Instagram Photos and Videos

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish


Comment from thefatjewish:


I just joined @badoo, here's how you make a dating profile that will get you results. Rescuing puppies! Sushi! No STD's!

29 Days ago
thefatjewish (thefatjewish) Instagram Photos and Videos

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish


Comment from thefatjewish:


Meeting for a drink in a crowded restaurant with a dentist you met on a dating website used to be terrifying, now you'll get in a Nissan Altima Uber X alone with a Persian creep driving who goes through a bottle of cologne every 3 months and is blasting house music. ( @carols10cents)

37 Days ago
thefatjewish (thefatjewish) Instagram Photos and Videos

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish


Comment from thefatjewish:


"Me and my friends are soooo crazy and funny, we should have a TV show" -a not crazy girl with unfunny friends who shouldn't have a tv show

38 Days ago
thefatjewish (thefatjewish) Instagram Photos and Videos

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish


Comment from thefatjewish:


ARE. YOU. FUCKING. KIDDING. ME. (If i ever see this douche canoe in person I'm giving him an atomic wedgie for disrespecting the greatest film franchise in the history of cinema)

39 Days ago
thefatjewish (thefatjewish) Instagram Photos and Videos

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish


Comment from thefatjewish:


Every year, at Coachella time, the good people of @whitegirlwine try to help you be a less unbearable human being. However, we definitely support you fingering/ getting fingered at sunrise while listening to EDM! Go to www.swishbev.com the rosé comes in bottles and cans and will make life less horrendous.

44 Days ago
thefatjewish (thefatjewish) Instagram Photos and Videos

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish


Comment from thefatjewish:


WHY DIDN'T THAT GUY JUST GIVE THE OFFICERS ON THE PLANE A FUCKING PEPSI

48 Days ago
thefatjewish (thefatjewish) Instagram Photos and Videos

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish


Comment from thefatjewish:


"The true New Yorker secretly believes that people living anywhere else have to be, in some sense, kidding" -John Updike ( @nyknicks @thejtsimon)

49 Days ago
thefatjewish (thefatjewish) Instagram Photos and Videos

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish


Comment from thefatjewish:


There will never be another week of my life that is more fucking lit than this one.

55 Days ago
thefatjewish (thefatjewish) Instagram Photos and Videos

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish


Comment from thefatjewish:


GATES AND BUFFET I KNOW YOU'RE CLEANING THE WORLD'S WATER OR WHATEVER BUT YOU NEED TO START BALLING, THE FACT THAT NEITHER OF YOU OWN AN OSTRICH IS APPALLING ( @sadmichaeljordan)

56 Days ago
thefatjewish (thefatjewish) Instagram Photos and Videos

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish


Comment from thefatjewish:


Soooo apparently @parishilton is a genius and helped create a droplet of water that is 1000x more hydrating than a bottle of water, thus eliminating millions of plastic bottles a year YES PEOPLE, PARIS HILTON IS GOING TO SAVE THE EARTH AND YOU CAN HELP HER TOO (link in bio) sodastream nanodrop

56 Days ago
thefatjewish (thefatjewish) Instagram Photos and Videos

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish


Comment from thefatjewish:


EATING SUPERFOODS DOESN'T UNDO ALL YOUR QUESTIONABLE DECISIONS, YOU CAN'T DRINK ENOUGH MATCHA 🍵 TO MAKE YOUR BODY OK AFTER HAVING UNPROTECTED SEX WITH A GUY NAMED JEFF WITH LEG TATTOOS

60 Days ago
thefatjewish (thefatjewish) Instagram Photos and Videos

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish


Comment from thefatjewish:


Literally nothing worse than a white child named Daffodil Yogurt in a store screaming like she's being murdered while her parents are asking her to "talk through her feelings" @tank.sinatra

63 Days ago
thefatjewish (thefatjewish) Instagram Photos and Videos

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish


Comment from thefatjewish:


Oh man, soooo many exposed boobs to suckle if you're a baby on Spring Break.

65 Days ago