thefatjewish

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish

Contact 4 credit: Emailio.Addresstevez@gmail You can't get an STD if you never get tested.
thefatjewish

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish


Comment from thefatjewish:


THEY SEE ME ROLLING/ THEY HATING/ BECAUSE I'M THE OLDEST LIVING FUCKING MONARCH

20 Hours ago
thefatjewish

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish


Comment from thefatjewish:


I'M GONNA GET THE TWINS MATCHING STAINLESS STEEL PANINI MAKERS

2 Days ago
thefatjewish

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish


Comment from thefatjewish:


One time I tried to smell Carrie Underwood's hair from behind at an event and got choked out by a security guard named Rage! Super fun!

4 Days ago
thefatjewish

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish


Comment from thefatjewish:


I miss when Chris Pratt was husky and wore cargo shorts and had a weird Abe Lincoln beard, now he's got abs to his neck and wears suits

7 Days ago
thefatjewish

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish


Comment from thefatjewish:


A card from a pharmacy won't do anything to quell the deep and undying hatred that your significant other has in her heart for you, but it's a nice thought I guess? (drunkpeopledoingthings)

8 Days ago
thefatjewish

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish


Comment from thefatjewish:


I MADE LOVE TO A LASAGNA THIS MORNING.

8 Days ago
thefatjewish

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish


Comment from thefatjewish:


She definitely asked to speak with the manager and is married to a former date rapist named Randy. (sadmichaeljordan)

10 Days ago
thefatjewish

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish


Comment from thefatjewish:


I'd rather spend the day in a souped up Mitsubishi Eclipse with a high spoiler with my grandma, Ol' Dirty Bastard and Paul Walker, Toyko drifting across the clouds πŸ™πŸΌπŸ™πŸΌπŸ™πŸΌ

12 Days ago
thefatjewish

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish


Comment from thefatjewish:


It's literally the cost of a fucking salad at Whole Foods if you get one hardboiled egg.

13 Days ago
thefatjewish

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish


Comment from thefatjewish:


This dog is basically a rich power gay architect who owns a sunsplashed brownstone and says things like "is Susan fucking SERIOUS with that Michael Kors bag?"

14 Days ago
thefatjewish

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish


Comment from thefatjewish:


Obama is listening to Luther Vandross and getting all up in Michelle's ham wallet on gold silk sheets and parasailing and drinking out of coconuts and taking a few hits off a jay. He's so fucking over it.

14 Days ago
thefatjewish

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish


Comment from thefatjewish:


ALSO I SNORTED A LINE OF GUACAMOLE AT THE SUPER BOWL PARTY TO MAKE MY FRIENDS LAUGH AND THEY DIDN'T EVEN THINK IT WAS FUNNY AND NOW IM FUCKING NAUSEOUS.

16 Days ago
thefatjewish

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish


Comment from thefatjewish:


POR TI VOLARE > GAGA WITH A KEYTAR

16 Days ago
thefatjewish

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish


Comment from thefatjewish:


Barry, I know you're on an island with Richard Branson sipping a daiquiri and probably fingerblasting Michelle and watching The Young Pope and that's all so so great, but I wish you were still at work. (missingobama)

19 Days ago
thefatjewish

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish


Comment from thefatjewish:


I'm just assuming, but is Michelle a barista now right? (thedailyshow)

20 Days ago
thefatjewish

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish


Comment from thefatjewish:


BEYONCÉ AND I ARE BOTH PREGNANT AS FUCK. MAZEL KWEEN. (tank.sinatra adam.the.creator)

20 Days ago
thefatjewish

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish


Comment from thefatjewish:


I eat corn with a power drill because I'm an adult and I do whatever the fuck I want.

24 Days ago
thefatjewish

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish


Comment from thefatjewish:


I TAKE SODA VERY FUCKING SERIOUSLY (dudewheresmymeme)

25 Days ago
thefatjewish

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish


Comment from thefatjewish:


MOM THAT'S NOT MY BAG OF POT, DAVE BOUGHT IT AND NEEDED ME TO HOLD IT FOR HIM GOD GET OUT OF MY FUCKING ROOM WHAT IS THIS THE SPANISH INQUISITION I CANT WAIT TO MOVE OUT (herbs1996)

29 Days ago