thefatjewish

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish

Emailio.Addresstevez@gmail You can't get an STD if you never get tested.
thefatjewish (thefatjewish) Instagram Photos and Videos

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish


Comment from thefatjewish:


Under 21 and don't know shit? THIS IS ABOUT HOME ALONE, THE 1990 CLASSIC FILM YOU LITTLE FUCKERS ( @sadmichaeljordan)

15 Hours ago
thefatjewish (thefatjewish) Instagram Photos and Videos

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish


Comment from thefatjewish:


Sean Spicer is definitely a pervert, I would love to see that dude's browser history. Japanese women stuffing squids in their vaginas FOR SURE.

19 Hours ago
thefatjewish (thefatjewish) Instagram Photos and Videos

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish


Comment from thefatjewish:


PRO TIP: if you sleep with someone and wake up not knowing their name, go to Starbucks together the next morning and let them do the ordering

3 Days ago
thefatjewish (thefatjewish) Instagram Photos and Videos

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish


Comment from thefatjewish:


Jesus was Jewish, but he knew how to use tools and probably had a big dick, so that shit doesn't make any sense. ( @robertmichaelevans)

3 Days ago
thefatjewish (thefatjewish) Instagram Photos and Videos

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish


Comment from thefatjewish:


GO TO @SHOPPRIVATEPARTY AND GET YOUR HANDS ON SOME ROSÉ CLOTHES THAT WE MADE, BUY IT FOR A GIRL YOU WANT TO SLEEP WITH OR YOUR LUSH MOM OR YOURSELF OR WHATEVERRRRR. shopprivateparty.com/swish

4 Days ago
thefatjewish (thefatjewish) Instagram Photos and Videos

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish


Comment from thefatjewish:


I take 3 minutes to pack a fucking suitcase, then 3 months to unpack when I get back home. ( @babewalker)

4 Days ago
thefatjewish (thefatjewish) Instagram Photos and Videos

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish


Comment from thefatjewish:


In the year 2030 you will only be able to get fresh water delivered to you via drone if Lord Bezos and Emperor Zuckerberg deem you worthy to hydrate, peasants.

7 Days ago
thefatjewish (thefatjewish) Instagram Photos and Videos

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish


Comment from thefatjewish:


This motherfucker smokes cigarettes in the car with the windows closed and hates rap music.

8 Days ago
thefatjewish (thefatjewish) Instagram Photos and Videos

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish


Comment from thefatjewish:


People over age 27 talking about books and juice cleanses and international environmental summits and I'm still putting every girl I have sex with in a Dutch oven.

13 Days ago
thefatjewish (thefatjewish) Instagram Photos and Videos

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish


Comment from thefatjewish:


Rihanna is on a whole new level of boss bitch, you peasants.

13 Days ago
thefatjewish (thefatjewish) Instagram Photos and Videos

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish


Comment from thefatjewish:


I am exhausted all fucking day until I get in bed and then all of a sudden am wide awake and buying unnecessary shit on eBay, like signed headshots of Stephen Dorff

15 Days ago
thefatjewish (thefatjewish) Instagram Photos and Videos

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish


Comment from thefatjewish:


GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME BUT ALSO PLEASE NEVER LEAVE ME

17 Days ago
thefatjewish (thefatjewish) Instagram Photos and Videos

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish


Comment from thefatjewish:


HAPPY JULY 4TH I'M CRUSHING CANS OF ROSÉ AND EATING SMOKED MEAT AND DOING NUDE CANNONBALLS, WHICH IS EXACTLY HOW GEORGE WASHINGTON WOULD HAVE WANTED IT RIGHT? @webroughtwine

18 Days ago
thefatjewish (thefatjewish) Instagram Photos and Videos

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish


Comment from thefatjewish:


Kids are like tiny drunk frat boys, they scream and barf and grab random boobs and always have food on their shirts and will pass out face down whenever and wherever and don't know how to fucking dress themselves

19 Days ago
thefatjewish (thefatjewish) Instagram Photos and Videos

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish


Comment from thefatjewish:


NEVER EVER DON'T GIVE UP.

22 Days ago
thefatjewish (thefatjewish) Instagram Photos and Videos

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish


Comment from thefatjewish:


WHY YOU ASK? BECAUSESUMMER MALIBURUM

24 Days ago
thefatjewish (thefatjewish) Instagram Photos and Videos

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish


Comment from thefatjewish:


Who runs Campbell's Soup social media? I want to give them head for being great. HAPPY PRIDE QUEENS.

27 Days ago
thefatjewish (thefatjewish) Instagram Photos and Videos

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish


Comment from thefatjewish:


I'm in assless leather chaps for pride. Kids are the fucking worst. ( @jennyjohnsonhi5)

27 Days ago
thefatjewish (thefatjewish) Instagram Photos and Videos

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish


Comment from thefatjewish:


HAPPY PRIDE I DON'T FUCK GUYS BUT IT'S GREAT THAT YOU DO I LOVE YOU ALL (Actually, I would probably have sex with @joejonas)

28 Days ago
thefatjewish (thefatjewish) Instagram Photos and Videos

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish


Comment from thefatjewish:


29 Days ago
thefatjewish (thefatjewish) Instagram Photos and Videos

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish


Comment from thefatjewish:


Last night I put a lot of cocaine in my butthole and expected to wake up in the ICU, but somehow woke up in my bed with my phone on the charger

30 Days ago
thefatjewish (thefatjewish) Instagram Photos and Videos

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish


Comment from thefatjewish:


I've already drank 4 glasses of rosé and it's 11:30 AM. Someone is getting an oven mitt handjob from me today. DM me bruh.

35 Days ago
thefatjewish (thefatjewish) Instagram Photos and Videos

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish


Comment from thefatjewish:


36 Days ago
thefatjewish (thefatjewish) Instagram Photos and Videos

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish


Comment from thefatjewish:


Also, I just beat a urinary tract infection that I got in Cancun last month. TODAY IS NOT HORRENDOUS! ( @lexidahlstrom)

36 Days ago
thefatjewish (thefatjewish) Instagram Photos and Videos

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish


Comment from thefatjewish:


I'm watching my friend who used to do a ton of coke and have sex with hookers with rugged c-section scars talk about how he's really into burrata now and might take a class to learn how to make it. BEING AN ADULT IS THE FUCKING WORST.

41 Days ago
thefatjewish (thefatjewish) Instagram Photos and Videos

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish


Comment from thefatjewish:


Today is National Rosé Day, and in honor of this important holiday, I cruised around New York City in a salmon pink PT cruiser with a gospel choir singing "Let's Dance" by Lady Gaga.Because I fucking felt like it. Drink pink, bitch. @webroughtwine nationalroséday

42 Days ago
thefatjewish (thefatjewish) Instagram Photos and Videos

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish


Comment from thefatjewish:


I ate a weed infused scone in Brooklyn and at first I was laughing so hard at this but now I'm too stoned and I honestly might need to go to the fucking hospital

44 Days ago
thefatjewish (thefatjewish) Instagram Photos and Videos

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish


Comment from thefatjewish:


I haven’t seen my penis in 2 years. Miss you little buddy!

45 Days ago
thefatjewish (thefatjewish) Instagram Photos and Videos

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish


Comment from thefatjewish:


SOMEONE BRING COKE LET'S DO THIS THING ALSO WE NEED A DJ I'M SO EXCITED TO PARTY WITH CHRIS FARLEY ( @slutwhisperer)

50 Days ago
thefatjewish (thefatjewish) Instagram Photos and Videos

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish


Comment from thefatjewish:


How is this the inside of an instrument and not an apartment in Sweden owned by a futuristic horny billionaire with white blonde hair named Bjorn?

55 Days ago
thefatjewish (thefatjewish) Instagram Photos and Videos

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish


Comment from thefatjewish:


@Malibu_rum brought me to South Africa to run on a beach in slow motion, because hot girls and dudes with sick bodies is sooooo out. YEAH @ZACEFRON I'M TALKING TO YOU AND YOUR WEIRD 12-PACK OF ABS. epicslowmo becausesummer Snapcode: malbu.us/snap

57 Days ago
thefatjewish (thefatjewish) Instagram Photos and Videos

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish


Comment from thefatjewish:


I would run my tongue over Steve Buscemi's teeth for a frittata right now.

58 Days ago
thefatjewish (thefatjewish) Instagram Photos and Videos

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish


Comment from thefatjewish:


This video of Katy Perry is whiter than Mike Pence snowboarding into a TED talk that's happening inside a Coldplay concert that's happening inside a farmers market while drinking a saffron flavored craft beer and being offended about something while wearing cargo shorts that were autographed by Jon Stewart at a live Daily Show taping and the pockets are filled with locally sourced conflict-free burrata ( @versace_tamagotchi)

61 Days ago